we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
