I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
is wine microwaveable?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize