Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
