You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
This house was built for laser tag.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
