What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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