just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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