wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
