I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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