never play flip cup with pint glasses
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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