I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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