I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
