She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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