And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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