Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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