I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize