help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
