So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
