I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize
