Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
