HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
