How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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