DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
