oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just want to make out with him forever
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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