i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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