I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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