Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
