And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
did i walk over a car last night?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
