I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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