gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
