My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
