Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
