i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
