let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
