and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
