I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I skipped work to stalk him.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize