Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
