Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
