absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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