Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
