i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
