Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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