What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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