her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Even the bartender felt bad for me
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
