is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
