woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
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