you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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