Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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