I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
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I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
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I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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