I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
