JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
why do cheetos always look like penises
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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