Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize