I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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