Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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