the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Randomize
