i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
