I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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