I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Bang-toberfest begins!!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
