I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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