My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize