where does the pee come out of this thing
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
