ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
